|4.4 In Sickness and In Hell
1st Airdate: October 25th, 1998
Writer: Adam Armus and Nora Kay Foster
Director: Josh Becker
Ted Raimi ~ Joxer
|Just for the record, a hilarious episode!!!
Alternative titles A DAY IN THE LICE (Sequel)
or NOXENA & SCABBRIELLE
The sun rises to a beautiful morning, but not for long as Xena awakes to Gabrielle's foot covered in fungus! Xena then gets up and shakes off her blanker and you hear a bunch of little noises. Gabrielle recognizes the noises as lice and Xena denies it.
Xena is looking for Argo, who she left behind while she went to Siberia looking for Gabrielle. She sees Argo, but apparently Argo is not happy with Xena & runs off. The girls come across Joxer who thinks he's blind, but he just has his hat on backwards. He tells them that he's been hired to protect a nearby village from marauders. Xena recognizes the dagger he found as Scythian, pure evil. Joxer recruits Xena & Gabby to help him. Gabrielle ducks into some bushes to go to the bathroom while Joxer holds empty scrolls as toilet paper for her. Xena gets sick and goes to the bathroom too!
Assestus sees Argo on the horizon and captures him for his own horse!
Gabrielle hunts for a rabbit for dinner. She finds it, but suddenly fangs come out of it's mouth and it attacks her! They wrestle around for quite some time (damn funny!) The next scene shows Gabby eating Joxer's radish soup. Xena keeps trying to reason why Argo is mad at her. She thinks maybe Argo's jealous because she rode off on another horse. Xena yells at Gabrielle for using her chakram to scratch her back.
Joxer returns to the village, but apparently he had run out on them after failing to help them. He tells them not to worry, he brought Xena the Warrior Princess. But when they enter the room, the villagers are sickened at their sicknesses & manners. They stick around for awhile scratching, burping, just being sick. Xena gives a list of things they need to the innkeeper, herbs & ingredients they need to heal. He offers their mineral springs for their use.
Xena sits in the mineral spring cleaning her hair while Gabrielle sits on the rim covered in what appears to be mud. Joxer walks in and says it's goat poo. Xena laughs at her, but not before she realizes she got Gabrielle's fungus and Gabrielle got her lice. The next scene shows Gabrielle cleaning her hair and Xena covered in goat poo. They discuss why the Scythians want this village. Xena says it's not the mineral springs, it's the Greek Fire, an oil reserve that could be deadly in the wrong hands. Xena says that the innkeeper is in with them because his place wasn't attacked and they probably sent an assassin to kill her.
After the baths, Xena & Gabrielle sit before the fire discussing Argo. Suddenly Xena realizes Gabrielle is drinking the medicine she was supposed to use it on skin. Gabrielle's tongue goes numb and she sluts heavily. That night, the Scythian assassin arrives and slices his sword down on what he thinks is Xena. But she's under the bed and she knocks him down and puts the pinch on him. But then she gets sick and tells Gabrielle to interrogate him while he's under the pinch. Gabrielle still can't speak and slurs and drools over the soldier's face. He tells them he's Assestus' brother and he'll come for him. Xena locks him and the innkeeper up as the Scythians attack and free Assestus' brother. Xena notices that Assestus is on Argo and she won't respond to Xena.
Xena starts her plan in motion and sends Joxer to feed the Scythian army. Apparently he's the one passing around the stomach flu, first to the villagers, then to Xena & Gabrielle. She sneaks in their camp and tries to take Argo, but she's still mad and won't go. Gabrielle is in the bushes trying to whistle, but can't and ends up drooling and spitting. Xena is found out, but fights them off and runs to the perimeter of the camp. Arrestus tells his brother to take the army and attack the undefended village. Assestus gets on Argo and goes after Xena. But the army is useless because they are suddenly very ill.
Assestus catches up the Xena and charges at her on Argo. Xena throws down her weapon hoping that Argo will stop. Gabrielle watches from the trees as Argo does indeed stop and throw Arrestus. Arrestus' brother shows up on horseback and Gabrielle tackles him off. Assestus gets on his brothers horse and goes to attack Argo. Xena jumps on Argo and they duel swords on horseback. Xena loses her sword, but makes Assestus lose his too. He launches from his horse at her, but she deflects him with his foot and he hits the ground unconcious.
Xena 'makes up' with Argo and tells her that she'll never leave her for that long again. She asks Argo why she left her for Assestus and Argo started to eat the apples from the tree nearby. Joxer is applauded by the villagers and given 500 dinars. But as he sees Xena & Gabrielle standing off to the side, he gives them back their money and tells them that if they ever decide to change their village name, Joxopolis would be a good name. Xena & Gabby commend Joxer on his work and his ability to keep healthy through all this. Joxer realizes he can add a new verse to his Joxer the Mighty song, but then he gets sick and runs off.
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