Lyre Lyre 5.10 Lyre, Lyre Hearts on Fire
1st Airdate:
January 23rd, 2000
Writer:  Adam Armus & Nora Kay Foster 
Director: Mark Beesley 
Guest Appearances:
Ted Raimi ~ Joxer/Jace
Jay Laga'aia ~ Draco
Darien Takle ~ Cyrene
Gillian Iliana Waters ~ Amoria
Tony Bishop ~ Alabardus
Paul Norell ~ Falafel
Grant Bridger ~ Farmer Paxon
Jim Ngaata ~ Maximinimus
Episode Disclaimer:

No Lyres were strung out during the production of this motion picture 

 

Summary

Draco and his warriors are digging around in search for something in what appears to be the ruins of a long forgotten structure. After a few minutes of digging they find what they had been looking for, Terpsichore's lyre. As Draco proudly holds the lyre Amoria and her Amazons appear. They had been monitoring Draco and his men since they arrived. Amoria declares that since they found the lyre on Amazon soil that it belongs to her and her sisters. Unwilling to part with this great prize Draco prepares to battle the Amazons for oownership of the lyre. Just then Xena, Gabby and Joxer arrive, prepared to stop the fight before it goes to far. Draco, still under a love spell, shoots Gabrielle a lovesick smile as Xena yanks the instrument out of his hands. Regardless of Xena's presence, Amoria resumes taunting Draco and he lunges at her. 

As Xena separates the two, she begins singing "War," accompanied by Gabrielle and Joxer. Soon the Amazons join in on the singing along with Draco and his men. As the song ends Draco inquires what they will do about ownership of the lyre. Xena announces that there will be a battle of the bands in the nearby village of Melodia to decide who gets the lyre. They all depart and head for the village where Gabby begins to spread the word about the musical battle for the lyre. Soon the villagers of Melodia are swept up in the excitement. They begin to sing original lyrics to "The Telephone Hour." Soon the entire village is singing and dancing and within a few minutes words of the competition has spread throughout the entire village. 

As bands begin arriving from everywhere, Xena outs Gabby in charge of auditioning them all and arranging the final list of bands for the competition. Meanwhile, much to Xena's surprise her mother Cyrene arrives in Melodia. She is surprised to find that rumors of Xena's pregnancy are obviously true. At first she tries to give Xena a guilt trip for not coming to her with the news but Xena informs her that her and Gabby where headed to tell her. As they continue to talk Cyrene learns that Xena intends to raise her baby alone with Gabby and has no plans to take a husband. Unable to accept that Xena is willing to raise her child fatherless she decides to play matchmaker to find Xena a husband. Xena and Joxer go to find Gabby who has begun to audition the bands, who at this point have all proven to be awful. As Gabby explains to Xena that so far they all suck, music begins to play outside. Hearing the good music the three of them rush out into the street to find Joxer's musically talented and flamboyant twin brother, Jace. Singing "Dancing In The Moonlight" he provides the villagers with a very well choreographed performance which ends up becoming a large street party. Joxer reacts badly to his brother's appearance but Xena and Gabby allow them selves to be swept up into the dancing. 

Later Amoria tries to seduce Joxer, who gladly accepts her attempts. After a short conversation with gabby over his disapproval of Jace, Joxer goes off with Amoria to watch her the Amazons rehearse their number for the competition. Gabrielle follows them and as she watches Joxer watch Amoria she realizes that she has a problem with Joxer's interest in this other woman. Draco enters the bar and has a brief encounter with Gabby where he tells her that he wants her to marry him and he wants the lyre so he can perform a love song for Gabby. Unsettled by his obsession with her Gabby strongly tries to persuade Draco to give up on her and move on. 

Meanwhile, Xena is forced to deal with the attempts of many men to win her heart. Soon Xena realizes that her mother is sending these men to her and that she has to stop her mother before any one else's heart gets broken. Full of anger and determination she finds her mother in a spa getting a massage and confronts her about the match making she has been doing. Cyrene explains to Xena that she simply wants her to be happy and to have a man in her life. In and attempt to explain to Cyrene that she does not need a man Xena breaks into a lively chorus of "Sisters Are Doin' It For Themselves." Soon she is joined by Amoria and the Amazons who have been bathing at the spa. By the end of the song Cyrene has gotten the message and has also joined in the song. 

Despite Gabrielle's continuing rejection, Draco fantasizes about her while singing "Always Something There To Remind Me." He decides that if he can't have her, no one will. With a crazed passion for her he devises a plan to either convince her to marry him or to kill her so no one else can have her. Just as the concert is about to begin, Gabrielle rushes over to Draco to ask him to perform first. He offers one last proposal of marriage and when Gabrielle turns him down again, he decides to incorporate her into his act by forcing her into a go-go-dancer cage that he hoists high above the stage. As Draco and his henchmen perform "Kick Out The Jams," a fire erupts on stage just underneath Gabrielle as part of a spectacular pyrotechnics display. As Draco prepares to kill her Xena jumps on stage, lyre in hand, and breaks into a hard-core version of "The Xena Theme." 

With the battle for Gabby's life begun, Draco's men drop their instruments and grab their weapons. They charge Xena and try to distract her from Draco. Gabrielle manages to escape the cage and dives into the crowd who gladly passed her hand-to-hand away from the stage. As the battle continues the Amazons take the stage and begin to play their version of the "Xena Theme Music." Joxer saves Jace from being struck down and Gabrielle is saved by Xena just as Draco is about to kill her with his sword. Xena confronts Draco and they begin to rap as they fight. Soon they take the battle above as balance on the heads and shoulders of the concert audience. Xena finally defeats Draco to the cheers of the crowd and, though never officially a contestant, she wins the lyre. Accepting the prize Xena announces that she's going to leave the instrument in Melodia for everyone to enjoy. As the audience goes wild with applause the Amazons begin playing music and Joxer, Jace, Gabby, Cyrene, and others join them on stage for a fun filled rendition of "People Got To Be Free." 

Synopsis by Todd Allen Hamilton

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