Punchlines 5.11 Punchlines
1st Airdate:
January 30th, 2000
Writer:  Chris Manheim 
Director: Andrew Merrifield 
Guest Appearances:
Ted Raimi ~ Joxer
John Gadsby ~ Lachrymose
Chris Ryan ~ Blutos
Tony Forster ~ Solemnus
Episode Disclaimer:

Gabrielle and Argo were shrunk and permanently pressed during the production of this motion picture.



As Xena, Gabby, and Joxer travel across the countryside, Gabrielle challenges a somewhat cranky Xena to get through a whole day without losing her temper. Accepting the challenge, Xena and Joxer head into town while Gabrielle goes to wash her and Xena's horses. She finds a creek and begins to pour water over Argo. She returns to the creek to get more water and as she turns back to Argo she is surprised to discover that Argo has shrunk to the size of a miniature horse. Lachrymose, the God of despair appears and tells her that he owns the creek and has shrunk Argo to punish her for using his water without permission. Gabby tries to explain to him that it was an accident but he refuses to return Argo to original size. Finally she persuades him to do it if she can make him laugh. Gabrielle recounts many humorous situations, but is unable to get a reaction out of Lachrymose. 

Meanwhile, as Joxer and Xena have lunch they are interrupted repeatedly a howling baby in the background. This situation tries Xena's nerves and almost pushes her back into a cranky mood. When she realizes the affect the crying baby has on her she recalls some of the strange and dangerous things she's encountered. As she thinks about it she questions her abilities to be a good mother and wonders what her child will see in the future. Suddenly she begins to think that having a baby and bringing it into the world, they way things currently are, may not be a good idea. Joxer tries to put her at ease and convinces her that no matter what will come, she is ready for it and she will do a fine job raising the child. 

As Gabrielle continues to try to get Lachrymose to make Argo normal again Argo wanders off. Gabby leaves the creek to find Argo and tracks the horse to a local grocery store where Xena and Joxer have arrived to do some shopping. Gabby finds Argo and tries to keep his presence from Xena. Lachrymose appears to Gabby and during her frustration she angers him. As a result he shrinks her down to twelve inches high. Gabby is able to get Joxer's attention and asks him to meet her at the creek. Gabby then takes Argo and returns to the creek while Joxer comes up with a reason for him to leave Xena in the village.

At the creek, Joxer manages to trick Lachrymose into restoring Gabrielle to her original size. As Lachrymose tries to attack Gabby, Xena becomes upset that Joxer and Gabby have not returned yet with Argo. She whistles and the pint size Argo goes to her. Xena looks on in horror as the tiny version of her horse arrives. Gabby and Joxer show up right behind the horse and Gabby tries to explain everything to a very upset Xena. As she listens to the story Xena's anger grows and soon turns into a huge pie fight in which even a group of priests get involved. Lachrymose arrives and watches with faint interest as the fight continues. After he gets hit with a pie, he begins to laugh and Argo is returned to normal. Later Gabrielle accepts that she has lost her bet with Xena and reluctantly agrees to cooking, cleaning and back rubs for a month. 

Synopsis by Todd Allen Hamilton

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