5.15 Married With Fishsticks  
1st Airdate:
February 28th, 2000 
Writer:
 Kevin Maynard  
Director: 
Paul Grinder  
Guest Appearances:

Ted Raimi ~ Joxer/Hagar 
Alexandra Tydings ~ Aphrodite/Crabella
Meighan Desmond ~ Discord/Sturgina Joseph Main ~ Urchin Rupert 
Simmonds ~ Flipper 
Willa O'Neill ~ Voice of Baby Squid 
Steve Cleary ~ Swimming instructor
Episode Disclaimer:

No Sea Nymphs or other Denizens of the Deep were harmed during the production of this motion picture. 

 

Summary

With Xena busy, Gabrielle tries in vain to quiet a very upset and crying Eve. After her best attempts Gabby realizes that she does not have the talent or patience for this. Xena returns and despite her reassurances, Gabrielle doubts her ability to be a good mother. Gabby gives Eve back to Xena and stands on a pier thinking. Aphrodite appears and begins to spread love through the villagers at the dock. As she does this Discord appears on a boat at the dock. The two Goddesses trade insults that escalate into a fireball fight. Joxer arrives from getting some baby food for Eve. As they talk, Joxer and Gabrielle get caught in the middle of the fight. Seeing that the villagers are in danger Gabby realizes what is happening and whistles. Discord and Aphrodite make them selves visible and Gabby lectures them on their irresponsibility. The fight starts up again and Gabrielle gets hit in the back of the head and falls into the sea unconscious. Joxer quickly dives in the water after her.

Some time later Gabby awakens to find her self in an underwater sea cove. As she looks around she is alarmed to discover that her legs have become fins and she has forgotten who she is or what happened to her. A voice from behind her startles her. The voice belongs to a Merman named Hagar, who looks just like Joxer. He informs her that not only is she his wife, but also that they have three kids. He also tells her that her name is Crustacea and that she had been involved in an accident. Gabby passes out from the news and later awakes in her home with Hagar. The house is dry which has caused her fins to turn back into legs.

Gabby tries to get acquainted with the unfamiliar surroundings and meets her children. Flipper who has gills on his neck and flippers instead of hands, Urchin who has sea anemones for hair and Baby Roe who resembles a squid! Hagar lets her rest a bit more but soon she is up and becomes distressed when she finds her home is a mess. She also learns quickly that her kids are awful and unmannered as they terrorize her. Hagar suggests that Gabby can now clean the house. As she begins to do so, the door bell sounds. Hagar goes to answer it and finds Sturgina and Crabella, who have come to bring Hagar the mind eraser potion he has been using on Gabby to keep her memory lose going. The two girls make no attempt to hold back their infatuation with him. They try to console him about his wife Crustacea having left him until they see Gabrielle, who looks just like her. Hagar confides in them that if he's to win the Council election, he needs a wife and mother and Gabrielle is the perfect stand-in. Hagar takes the potion and then tries to get them out of the house while fighting off their advances.

Later that day, Sturgina and Crabella return to the house to introduce themselves. Gabby of course does not know who they are and they explain to her that are Gabby/Crustacea's best friends and insist that she join them at "the club" to get reacquainted. With Hagar and the kids gone and the house work done she agrees. Once at 'the club" the three girls decide to do some swimming. They get in the pool and Sturgina and Crabella start to drop hints that Crustacea was on the verge of leaving her family. They explain to her that she was upset with her situation and that she had been angry with Hagar and the children and had enough. Their plan backfires and rather than deciding to leave, Gabrielle decides it's her duty to raise better kids and to make her marriage work. As the end of the day draws near Gabby gathers her things and heads back home.

Back at home, the kids manage to tie Gabrielle up and dangle her above a trap door where a great white shark hungrily awaits his dinner. At the last minute the kids decide to pull her up and as the fraying rope snaps, Gabrielle instinctively flips through the air and lands mere inches from the trap door. The kids watch in amazement at the talents they never knew she had. Gabby decides that this is the time to take charge and to let the children know that things are going to be different for now on. With a couple of well placed words and a stern tone she gets their attention. Soon they realize she means business. Later as she finishes preparing dinner and the kids set the table, Hagar gets home. After a few heated words and a display by Gabby that tells Hagar she is in charge, Gabby is also able to gain the respect of her condescending husband. Later that night in the bedroom, Gabrielle asks Hagar how they met and he tells her the story of how he pretended to be unconscious after being hit in the head with a bucket so that Crustacea would give him mouth-to-mouth and he could kiss her.

As Crabella and Sturgina get massages at "the club" they discuss their desire to get rid of Gabby so they can have Hagar to them selves. As they talk they realize that their original plan has only made her want to stay even more. Finally they decide that some thing terrible could happen to her like a really bad accident. Putting their plan into action, they release a killer giant quid into the clubs pool and then invite gabby to meet them at "the club" for a day of fun with the kids. Gabby packs up the kids and the head out for the day. Once there Gabby is greeted by Crabella and Sturgina who think that Gabby and baby Roe are just precious together and that they should have a portrait done to preserve the moment. As Gabrielle poses for the portrait with her back to the pool, one of the squid's tentacles wraps around her ankle and pulls her into the water. As Gabby fights for her life, the kids watch and cheer for her while Crabella and Sturgina secretly say goodbye to her. The bloody underwater struggle ends with Gabrielle's victorious emergence from the pool. She had put a knife in her outfit and was able to use it to kill the squid.

She returns home where Hagar has prepared a special meal for her and promises to start sharing responsibility. After dinner is done and he has cleaned the dishes, Hagar takes Gabrielle to the beautiful coral garden where he proposed to Crustacea and asks Gabrielle to marry him, which she interprets as a tender request to renew their vows. She accepts and news of the wedding spread quickly. As soon as Crabella and Sturgina hear of the wedding they quickly plan to reverse her memory lost so she will leave Hagar and they can have him to their selves. While Gabrielle is trying on her wedding dress, Crabella and Sturgina slip her the new potion. The next day as the wedding ceremony is underway, Hagar is about to confess his deception when Gabrielle's memories return. Gabrielle promptly calls off the wedding as Hagar explains that although he was using her at first, he truly fell in love with her.

Seeing their moment of opportunity Sturgina and Crabella demand that Hagar pick one of them to be his bride as it would be a shame to waste a wedding. He rejects them both and tells them that in light of what has happened he needs to spend some time with him self. Angered by this final rejection they try to kill him. Gabby tells Hagar that she will handle her so called friends and leaps into action sending Crabella into the pool and Sturgina into the wedding cake. As the day comes to an end Gabrielle says goodbye to her or Crustacea's family and Hagar. The children are sad to see her go but they say goodbye and then leave their dad to say a few words to Gabby. Hagar tries to have Gabby keep the wedding ring and she agrees but only if he promises to find the real Crustacea and tell her how he feels. He agrees and gives her a farewell kiss. Meanwhile, back on the dock Gabrielle regains consciousness and realizes that Joxer is kissing her and she sends him flying backwards into a pole. Xena helps Gabrielle get up and sends the squabbling Discord and Aphrodite away. As Eve starts to cry, Gabrielle takes her in her arms and begins telling her the story of a woman's underwater adventure.

Synopsis by Todd Allen Hamilton

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