Xenaversity of Minnesota

The Xenaversity of Minnesota
battling on since 1998

join us on
facebook

conventions

misc

Episode Disclaimers

Season 6 Disclaimers

6.1 Coming Home	Xena & Gabrielle's psyches were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
6.2 Haunting of Amphipolis	No maggots were harmed during the making of this motion picture, although a few were found stuck in Gabrielle's teeth.
6.3 Heart of Darkness	All hell broke loose during the production of this episode.
6.4 Who's Gurkhan	Xena's uncanny ability to recover from devastating wounds was not harmed during the production of this motion picture.
6.5 Legacy	Despite severe air turbulence, no sand dunes were harmed during the making of this motion picture, although some experienced periodic bouts of motion sickness.
6.6 The Abyss	Virgil's appetite was suppressed during the production of this episode.
6.7 The Rheingold	No flying heroes were harmed in the making of this motion picture, although several villagers were bombarded with aerial manure.
6.8 The Ring	Gabrielle's popularity surged during the making of this motion picture.
6.9 Return Of The Valkyrie	Any similarities between our story and the classic children's fairy tale is purely coincidental.
6.10 Old Ares Had A Farm	Ares went to the dogs during the making of this motion picture.
6.11 Dangerous Prey	Raczar mysteriously disappeared at the completion of production of this motion picture and is rumored to have been living under the guise of "Prince Vladimar Barbeque Raczar?"
6.12 The God You Know	Gabrielle's undercover disguise was extensively harmed during the making of this motion picture.
6.13 You Are There	The concept of linear time was several harmed during the production of this episode.
6.14 Path of Vengeance	The disclaimer for this episode was harmed during the making of this motion picture.
6.15 To Helicon And Back	No shark bait was harmed during the making of this motion picture.
6.16 Send In The Clones	No Xena fans were harmed during the production of this episode
6.17 Last of the Centaurs	The centaur population was severely harmed during the making of this motion picture.
6.18 When Fates Collide	As the Fates would have it, Caesar was once again harmed during the making of this motion picture.
6.19 Many Happy Returns	No fish guts were harmed in the making of this motion picture.
6.20 Soul Possession	Joxer's process of elimination was harmed during the making of this motion picture.
6.21 A Friend In Need 1	Xena and Gabrielle's Flying Circus and Amateur Fire Brigade will be arriving in your town soon
6.22 A Friend In Need 2	Xena was permanently harmed during the production of this episode, but she kept her spirit.

Season 5 Disclaimers

5.1 Fallen Angel	Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned
5.2 Chakram	Xena's Dark and Violent Past was restored during the production of this motion picture.
5.3 Succession	Ares' libido was not harmed during the production of this episode.
5.4 Animal Attraction	Although The Rabbit Died, No other animals were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
5.5 Them Bones, Them Bones	Xena and Alti were 'Bad to the Bone' during the production of this episode!.
5.6 Purity	To obtain a copy of Joxer's recipe for Moo Shu Sauce and other Chinese delicacies visit your local bookstore or look for it at the tavern.
5.7 Back In The Bottle	Pao Ssu's split personality was not harmed during the production of this motion picture.
5.8 Little Problems	No Pie Tins were harmed during the making of Tharon's mask.
5.9 Seeds of Faith	Thanks to Eli's non-violent ways, many people lost their lives during the production of this motion picture.
5.10 Lyre, Lyre Hearts On Fire	No Lyres were strung out during the production of this motion picture
5.11 Punchlines	Gabrielle and Argo were shrunk and permanently pressed during the production of this motion picture.
5.12 God Fearing Child	Zeus bites the dust during the production of this episode.
5.13 Eternal Bonds	Ares virility was harmed during the production of this episode.
5.14 Amphipolis Under Seige	Post Production was under siege during the production of this motion picture
5.15 Married with Fishsticks	No Sea Nymphs or other Denizens of the Deep were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
5.16 Lifeblood	Warning: The Surgeon General cautions practicing Weird and Grotesque Amazon rituals may be hazardous to your health.
5.17 Kindred Spirits	Many Cinnamon Swirls lost their lives in the making of Gabrielle's Headdress.
5.18 Antony & Cleopatra	No Rubberized Snakes intent on destroying the Queen of Egypt were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
5.19 Looking Death In The Eye	Death almost died during the production of this motion picture.
5.20 Livia	Due to an over indulgence of Bean and Bard Burgers, Meg's gastro-intestinal problem intensified during the production of this motion picture.
5.21 Eve	Joxer's sudden and unexpected death, slowed down his rapid ageing process during the production of this motion picture.
5.22 Motherhood	All the gods were harmed during the production of this picture

Season 4 Disclaimers

4.1 Adventures in Sin Trade I	No dead amazons were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
4.2 Adventures in Sin Trade 2	Xena's search for Gabrielle was not harmed during the production of this motion picture
4.3 A Family Affair	No Spike-Skinned, Beast-Like, Incredibly Hungry Offspring who can't stand the sun were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
4.4 In Sickness and In Hell	No Leapin' Lice were beaten, whipped, smashed or scratched during the production of this motion picture.
4.5 A Good Day	No permanent battle scars were inflicted during the production of this motion picture.
4.6 Tale of Two Muses	No Self-Righteous Magistrates intent on supporting the basic human right of freedom of expression were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
4.7 Locked Up and Tied Down	No Rabid Flesh Eating Crabs were cooked during the production of this motion picture.
4.8 Crusader	Xena's best chewing tooth was not harmed during the production of this motion picture.
4.9 Past Imperfect	Borias' goose was cooked during the production of this motion picture.
4.10 Key to the Kingdom	No Priceless Porkers, of either organic or ceramic origin, were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
4.11 Daughter of Pomira	No blonde-haired, blue-eyed Horde girls or their extended families were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
4.12 If The Shoe Fits	No Fractured Fables were harmed in the production of this motion picture.
4.13 Paradise Found	Paradise was found but not necessarily embraced during the production of this motion picture.
4.14 Devi	In Memory of Women's Best Friends Bear, Dodger, Kali, Samantha, Taffy, Bear.
4.15 Between the Lines	Xena's Chakram got Gabrielle by the short hairs during the production of this motion picture.
4.16 The Way	Any similarities between Hanuman and a major character in the motion picture classic "Planet of the Apes" is purely coincidental.
4.17 The Play's The Thing	Although no great literary works of art were harmed or plagiarised, a few thespians stole some scenes during the production of this motion picture.
4.18 The Convert	Argo's gastronomical condition was cleared up upon the completion of this motion picture.
4.19 Takes One To Know One	Argo is once again proven innocent during the production of this motion picture
4.20 Endgame	Pompey's reign came to a head during the production of this motion picture.
4.21 The Ides of March	Xena and Gabrielle were killed during the production of this motion picture.
4.22 Deja Vu All Over Again	No Sword-Wielding, Card-Playing, Therapy-Seeking French Freedom Fighters were deflowered during the production of this motion picture. However, rumors of Custer and Pocahontas remain unconfirmed.

Season 3 Disclaimers

3.1 The Furies	Xena's sanity was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. The Furies, however, will be opening their own lap dancing variety show off-off-off broadway soon.
3.2 Been There Done That	The rooster was not harmed in the making of this motion picture. However, his feathers were severly ruffled. However, a little gel and mousse straightened out that mess.
3.3 The Dirty Half-Dozen	No convicts were harmed during the production of this motion picture. Can't we all just get along?
3.4 The Deliverer	Gabrielle was slightly well-done during the production of this motion picture. However, the producers would like to recommend a spicy bbq sauce to bring out the full flavor of this episode.
3.5 Gabrielle's Hope	Despite witnessing the bizarre and somewhat disturbing birth of Gabrielle's Hope, no farm animals were harmed or traumatized during the production of this motion picture.
3.6 The Debt Part 1	No frock tarts were killed during the making of this motion picture, although they wished they had been.
3.7 The Debt Part 2	Xena and Gabrielle's relationship suffered another blow (although Gabrielle doesn't know it yet) during the making of this motion picture.
3.8 King of Assassins	Due to the infliction of a severe wedgie, Joxer was slightly uncomfortable but not seriously harmed during the production of this motion picture.
3.9 Warrior...Priestess...Tramp	Despite another Xena look-alike, the gene pool (or rather gene puddle) was not harmed during the production of this motion picture.
3.10 The Quill Is Mightier...	No naked Gabrielle's were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
3.11 Maternal Instincts	Xena and Gabrielle's relationship was harmed during the production of this motion picture.
3.12 Bitter Suite	The musical genre was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. In fact, the producers sincerely hope you were A-MUSE-D by this episode.
3.13 One Against An Army	Gabrielle's ankle was harmed during the production of this motion picture.
3.14 Forgiven	No street-talking, cat-fighting, barroom brawling juvenile delinquents were harmed during the production of this motion picture
3.15 King Con	No Con Men were conned during the production of this motion picture
3.16 When In Rome...	Caesar's Palace was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, Crassus and the gladiators went down for the count.
3.17 Forget Me Not	Xena and Joxer were not forgotten during the production of this motion picture.
3.18 Fish, Fems and Gems	Joxer's dignity was slightly harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, Gabrielle's pink nightie was restored to its original condition.
3.19 Tsunami	No Cast or Crew were singing "Tanks For The Memories" during the production of this motion picture. However, the phrase "Strike the Set" was given new meaning.
3.20 Vanishing Act	Upon completion of the filming of this episode, Autolycus' Scuba Gear was placed on display at the Athens Diving Institute for the education and enjoyment of future generations to come.
3.21 Sacrifice Part I	No Pulsing Cocoons were hatched during the production of this motion picture. What you witnessed was purely a reenactment.
3.22 Sacrifice Part II	Gabrielle finally went off the deep end during the production of this motion picture

Season 2 Disclaimers

2.1 Orphan of War	No Sleazy Warlords who deem it necessary to drink magical elixirs that turn them into scaly centaurs were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
2.2 Remember Nothing	Xena's memory was not damaged or...what was I saying?
2.3 Giant Killer	No Bible myths or stories were irreparably mangled during the production of this motion picture.
2.4 Girls Just Wanna Have Fun	No Bloodsucking Bacchae were harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, a few driads lost their heads.
2.5 Return of Callisto	Although Xena finally conquered her dark nemesis Callisto, it took her weeks to get the sand out of her leather unmentionables.
2.6 Warrior...Princess...Tramp	Neither Xena nor her remarkably coincidental identical twin, Diana, were harmed during the production of this motion picture. Meg, however, suffered minor injuries while preparing Aardvark nuggets for King Lias.
2.7 Intimate Stranger	Argo was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, she is undergoing intensive psycho-therapy to help her work through her resentment and feelings of distrust towards Xena.
2.8 Ten Little Warlords	No one was harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, Xena's ability to recover her body was severely impeded by Lucy Lawless' unexpected mishap.
2.9 A Solstice Carol	Senticles was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, several chimneys are in dire need of repair.
2.10 The Xena Scrolls	No Hollywood producers were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
2.11 Here She Comes... Miss Amphipolis	No ribbons were harmed in the production of this motion picture. However, several experienced severe motion sickness.
2.12 Destiny	Julius Caesar was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, the Producers deny responsibility for any unfortunate acts of betrayal occurring soon thereafter.
2.13 The Quest	Xena's body was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, it took weeks for Autolycus to get his swagger back.
2.14 A Necessary Evil	The reputation of the Amazon Nation was not harmed despite Velasca's overly radical adherence to an otherwise valid belief system.
2.15 A Day in the Life	No slippery eels were harmed during the production of this motion picture despite their reputation as a fine delicacy in some cultures of the known world.
2.16 For Him the Bell Tolls	The producers would like to acknowledge the inspiration of Danny Kaye and pay tribute to the classic motion picture "Court Jester".
2.17 The Execution	By popular demand "The Executioner" will bring back the comfortable lightweight cotton blend robe in a variety of spring colors.
2.18 Blind Faith	Once again, Gabrielle's luck with men was harmed during the production of this motion picture.
2.19 Ulysses	Despite Gabrielle's incessant hurling, Ulysses' boat was not harmed in the making of this motion picture.
2.20 The Price	To show sympathy for The Horde, Kataka was only served upon request during the production of this motion picture.
2.21 Lost Mariner	Cecrops "Joie de Vivre" was not harmed during the making of this motion picture.
2.22 Comedy of Eros	No cherries were harmed during the making of this motion picture.

Season 1 Disclaimers

1.1 Sins of the Past	None
1.2 Chariots of War	None
1.3 Dreamworker	None
1.4 Cradle of Hope	No babies were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
1.5 The Path Not Taken	None
1.6 The Reckoning	None
1.7 The Titans	None
1.8 Prometheus	Iolaus was harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, the Green Egg Men went on to live long and prosperous lives.
1.9 Death in Chains	No Jumbo Sized Cocktail Rats were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
1.10 Hooves and Harlots	No Males, Centaurs, or Amazons were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
1.11 The Black Wolf	None
1.12 Beware Greeks Bearing Gifts	No oversized Polynesian-style Bamboo Horses were harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, many wicker lawn chairs gave their lives.
1.13 Athens City Academy of the Performing Bards	The producers would like to acknowledge and pay tribute to Stanley Kubrik, Kirk Douglas and all those who were involved with the making of the film classic "SPARTACUS". Additional thanks to Steve Reeves.
1.14 A Fistful of Dinars	No Ambrosia was spilled, spoiled, or in any way harmed during the production of this motion picture. (Thanks to the indefinite shelf life of marshmallows.)
1.15 Warrior...Princess	Neither Xena nor her remarkably coincidental identical twin, Diana, were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
1.16 Mortal Beloved	No Winged Harpies were harmed or sent to a fiery grave during the production of this motion picture.
1.17 The Royal Couple of Thieves	No Ancient and Inflexible Rules governing moral behavior were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
1.18 The Prodigal	Meleager the Mighty, the generally Tipsy and Carousing Warrior-for-Hire, was not harmed during the production of this motion picture.
1.19 Altared States	No Unrelenting or Severely Punishing Deities were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
1.20 Ties That Bind	No Fathers, Spiritual or Biological, were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
1.21 The Greater Good	Excessive belching can cause brain damage and social ostracism. Kids, please don't give in to peer pressure. Play it safe.
1.22 Callisto	Joxer's nose was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, his crossbow was severely damaged.
1.23 Death Mask	No Messenger Doves were harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, several were reportedly missing in action and search-and-rescue efforts are under way.
1.24 Is there a Doctor in the House?	Being that War is Hell, lots of people were harmed during the production of this motion picture (but since television is a dramatic medium of make believe, all casualties removed their prosthetic make-up and went home unscathed).

Email us